I am quite disappointed with myself. I have let Ilmater down today. Not only that, and I know this may come as a shock to you, but I believe some of my new friends may be more callous than I had originally thought.
In our quest to raid the tower of Hurlan, we had explored the entire space, and I again fell victim to a trap. An iron cobra no less! Will I ever learn? Anyway, we ran into a blue 9’ foot tall demoness of sorts, Xydeka, and I was able to acquire a green robe! It was all very exciting. However, the most exciting find was the Bookonomicon. It is an enchanted tome with the power of speech! I had never known such a book existed.I have taken it upon myself to be his protector of sorts, as I am sure he has no desire to be kept in a library for another 900 years. He can be loud and opinonated, but he has good intentions I am sure.
Upon our exit from the tower, the whole structure disappeared. The Bookonomicon told that Hurlan turned the tower off, or something to that effect. On our way back to Meadhollow, we came upon a group of goblins. They were slain in combat, save for one. Argoth thought it would be prudent to take one hostage and ask it questions about the knolls and kobolds. There is some sort of situation going on between those groups, and he wanted to investigate it further. Upon our return to Meadhollow, I left the group to put my affairs in order and secure my lodgings. Upon my arrival to the wooded glade that the goblin had been left, he was still tied up and under the watch of Rasharr. The poor creature was a snivelling mess, and was finally questioned when I threatened to let him go. Unfortunately, this is where I let down my order. Instead of taking the situation into my own hands and releasing the suffering creature myself, I let my friends proceed as they saw fit. And instead of letting him go when they were finished with him, they murdered him in cold blood. He was a hostage, and we treated him brutally for no reason. I blame myself for this mess, and the matter weighs heavy on my heart.
I am unsure of how to maintain my relationship with this group, as they have shown me how savage they can be. With the exception of Roderick, who was not present when any of this transpired. They show no remorse, no guilt, as if they were just in their actions. Though I let him down, I am praying that Ilmater will bestow upon me insight and reflection on the matter. Should I continue with them at the expense of my beliefs? Or should I disband and hope that another group of travellers will come through, perhaps a party with moral integrity?
This day has left me so exhausted mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It would be best if I had some rest. So with the blessings of Ilmater, I say until next time journal.