The Salderine Empire

Put your hands up...HAHA YOU CAN'T!
gotta die sometime

SoooooOOOoooOO……its been awhile hasn’t it!

I got to focused on making stuff and drinking that I TOTALLY forgot to write anything that happened down OOPSY DOODLE!!

Well never fear , I promise to NEVER disappoint.THE DUEL FINALLY HAPPENED HURRAY!!! There was laughter, there was blood and oooh there was lots of drinking YUM YUM YUM!!

OH and we slugged around in the sewage to help find Melmo’s wand (cause she probably ate it) but it turned out she didn’t (she probably ate her familiar though)
Killed the swampogator, chased down some guy and Hibiki CUT HIS FREAKING HAND OFF….IT WAS AWESOME!!! But I am really scared now because I heard something about stealing, how its bad….I don’t want to lose my hand :(

Poor Hibiki she lost her hair pins, BUT I GOT THEM BACK and her and crazy tiger lady got into a big fight over Hibiki killing the guy who I promised to spit spiders on. SHE WAS BLEEDING BLACK. But never fear, she is still down in the sewers for SOOOME reason and I GOT HAIR PINS FOR ME AND HIBIKI it is so much fuuun…. I offered one to How but he didn’t seem please, hope he doesn’t cut my hand off.

ANYWAYS!! that is enough of this BOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING stuff I am going to go throw things with my attached hands Zabby OUT! :D


if a boiling misteree poshun can melt a skull it is maybe not a good ideya to drink it but i did anyway and it made me very sick and now my blood is black and i dont know what that meens but maybe thats why there their they’re fuck it they are called the black bloods and now i am a black blood to and thats pretty neet.

OH and also explosions

Hello my dearest friends a various shapes, sizes and explode sounds.

Man have we had a momentous day, it started off really well, just grabbing a drink at a bar, doing what any sensible human would do and start juggling…you know…bombs…….with my feet.
Instead of being AMAZED at the sight they didn’t like it very much, bunch of party poopers.

BUT HEY I got to meet this weird looking guy (or maybe he really is a girl because he was kinda pretty) name TEMPOTASTICALISTICFUL!!! aka Mr.T and his fluffy foxy companion who probably tastes like chicken.

explosive sound in the background followed by screaming (because you know, people can hear stuff through reading, at least I can!) .

Where was I OOOOH YEAH!! So we went on an an epic quest of cartwheels and walking (he was walking cause he is LAME!!! and also maybe a girl) and ran into this red person who is SUPER STRONG and probably tastes likes spicy chicken and a weird lady who wants to drink my mutagens with a centipede that ALSO probably tastes like chicken!!! but I like her, she gives me fire -

and the crazy cat lady who stole my fire!!! (what a jerk) I am not sure what to think about her, the only thing I want to know at this point is if she is more flammable because of this YEEEEES FIIIIIRE! MMMMMHMMMMM

Oh sorry, lost track again but WEEEEEEEEEEEE oh and I also enjoyed those two weird people who we’re fighting in a bush, they seemed nice but I am not sure why they chose a bush to fight in REGARDLESS! The pretty lady got nommed by a skello spider and I hope she comes back so we can go to the Volcano together :(

BUT OTHER THEN THAT!! There was romance, adventure EXPLOSIVES death MORE EXPLOSIVES and lots of killin. I almost got killed twice, it was great.

I forgot what I came here to do, but any butts! I am excited to do more fun and crazy firey things with them and learn more and blow up more as well, and hopefully that orange lady will let me lick her face!!

SMELL YA LATER just not that cat lady, she smells like rotten cheese.


noo news from miloo

helo again it has ben a while since i wrote anything and i need to practice my writing not just in common but in other langwages languages too. the new freinds i’ve made will have much to teech me i am sure but i have to learn to talk malarite first. i do not trust them. they are predators like me, but the none of us are pack hunters. i enjoyed the red sabbath we had it was lots of fun and i need to do that more if i can.

i got to fight a kimerra and it was fun and i got to eat its heart and it was really really good. too bad i had to store the other heart in a jar. rashaar was really happy that he got to kill one thanks to mistral. she put it to sleep and rashaar tore all three of its heads off. even the new girl zabby ate some of the heart so she must be pretty smart cuz hearts are good for you. she likes to blow things up and that is neat but she isn’t careful with fire and that is bad when you are in the woods becuz you don’t want to start a fire in the woods. she was angry when i took away her burning stick and likes to remind me that i smell like musk. musk is a good thing to smell like it lets other predators know you are there and it will help if rashaar gets lost he can always find me. zabby smells like poison and soot and poo but because she smells so bad i can always find her too if she gets lost.

we met a small pretty man named tempest too and i don’t trust him because he hits things with his spells that he shouldn’t. he hit the small dead girl with web and missed the skellingtons and he almost skwished teepo. if someone hurt rashaar i would be very angry and would maybe have to maul them a little bit. the dead girl wasn’t dead when we met her she was killed by a giant skellington spider becuz emthyra was busy snogging with rodrick and i wasn’t paying attention. i should have saved her. i could have saved her too but i didn’t and i feel bad because she died. me and rashaar can take her back to mead hollow to cedrine and ask that she bring her back or i can maybe find some other malarites and ask them to reincarnate her but i don’t know if she would like that so maybe we will just go to mead hollow but it is a very long trip.

i don’t want to write anymore becauz my hand hurts.

Standard greeting?

These last two days were bizarre. I have encountered three more “subjects” who will be traveling with our rag tag group. A girl, Zabby, with blue hair who to my sheer amusement throws bombs but Upon learning where she is from I would use bombs as well. Zabby will be a entertaining companion. There was a man, tempest, I don’t know much about him except he is a merchan—t and due to his common failures likely removed from his family regestry. With in minutes of meeting him he tried to trap Hibiki in webs so skeleton enemies could kill her the following day he promptly put poor Teepo in danger I sure hope he knows Teepo doesn’t need to sleep. Hibiki….in true welcoming fashion was killed. She was but a young child it seems she knew hou maybe we can write her family let them know what has come of the child. Once maybe 20-25 years ago I saw a cleric bring a man back to life Lazarus I believe his name was maybe I can find him and ask how he did that. Either way I welcome the new commers if the prove both to be helpful and provide useful information. -**Mystral

morr wurds to share

dere book,
i have not writed in a while, but i think i need more practis and may bee i will become more gud better if i do that so that is what i am doing. we have new people with us and i am sad i missed seeing hell becuz i dont know if i culd ever see some thing like that again so that makes me sad. i am very angry to because that neck romancer got away. we do not let the prey get away. i must make myself stronger so that i can onher onner make malar proud. some weerd tribe of the tiger gave me a simatar scimitar and it has a plesent black glow that the others do not like. the man called me “ut tigrosh” which i guess means the tiger. we killed the bear people that were attaking him but one tryde to get away and the red man hou cot him and lied to me about killing him. so dav and me killed him. not hou, the other guy. dav is the man from the tiger clan. i do not think it is wize to release an enemy be cuz if they go back to there home, they will bring more and attack. may bee we shud have asked him things first but i think its tooo late for that now unless emthyra can ask her god to ask him some kwestshuns questions. i have bought a dikshunary and i am going to use it to help with my writing but it will take a while. i also got a book with a lot of animals in it that i have never seen before. i use the dikshunary to help me understand the words about the animals. this way when i change, i can becum more things. also there was a dagron but it got away after burning a lot of the city but i am going to kill it and eat its heart in praise of malar.

From the journal of Emthyra Berriel, entry 7

Mayuary 18th

We have been commissioned by the Spellswords to track down Ixon Negroit, son of the infamous W. Negroit. He is a necromancer of some talent, and may be the reason behind the scores of undead we have been encountering. He has white hair like myself, so he shouldn’t be too hard to find once we encounter him. We understand he may be accompanied by his sister, also a necromancer, so we may have some difficult days ahead of us. When we found his base of operationson the east side of the lake, we encountered several undead creatures, including a ghoul, some zombies, and a zombie dragon. Unfortunately, the ghoul dealt me some damage,and was more difficult to defeat than the dragon. We came upon sizeable loads of treasure, and there will be plenty to go around. Luckily, we found that Hou and Mystral are very capable team members, and are an excellent addition to our team.

From the journal of Emthyra Berriel, entry 6

Oh Journal,
It feels as though it has been months rather than days since I have last written. And though it has been days, so much has occurred. The party has left Meadhollow, and the party has changed.

We are now in Bulver’s Bastion. We ventured here to get our charter signed by Liard, the magistrate of Meadhollow. Since he is never actually in Meadhollow, he forced our hand to complete our charter. After a rather unpleasant and forceful entry into Liard’s home, Sim and Roderick were able to obtain his signature. I disapprove of their methods, as they were foolish and ill advised, but they did get the job done.

I am staying in the Silverfish with the bookanomicon and Roderick.

Argoth is no longer with us. We assume he stole away in the night to attend Scarfcon. We may never know. We are now joined by Melmo, Hou, and Myst. Hou is not the most pleasant person I have ever met, but I am sure we will become friends in time. Myst is…also different. I believe she may be a witch as Argoth was, but she is…a unique spirit.

Oh my yes, I almost forgot! We were transported to a devil filled hellscape the likes of which will haunt my dreams until I die. We again met the she-devil Xydeca, who was responsible for our transport there in the first place. She had marked us as her servants! Who does she think she is marking a sworn servant of Ilmater in such a way? I was horrified at the thought and am still fuming about it. Unfortunatley, hell made me very antsy, and I could hardly think of anything but escape. Luckily, it seems that the wizard Hurlan has taken a shine to us, and pulled us from hell!

Until next time, may the blessings of Ilmater be with us all.

From the journal of Emthyra Berriel, entry 5

I will be quick as we have little time to waste. Here are the important details.

1.We have saved the child from the goblins.
2.Roderick fell down a cliff.
3.Rasharr and Meelu have returned.

That is all. May the blessings of Ilmater be with you.

From the journal of Emthyra Berriel, entry 4

I have little time but I wanted to record the events from the last few hours. Due to the irresponsible actions of some of my group members, we had brought a goblin raid upon the village of Meadhollow. The goblins set several areas ablaze and horrifyingly, kidnapped an innocent young girl. As our group set out to aid the village put out the flames, we gleaned information about the goblins whereabouts. We were met the with decision to go fight the goblins or engage in genocide. I chose the former.

As we set off, Melmo joined us. I was at first doubtful of her ability to aid us, but she proved me wrong in my initial assesment. At the goblin camp, we attempted to stealthily enter unseen, and enter an old ruin. However, much to my chagrin, the clanging of my chainmail armor alerted the goblins to our presence. After defeating them in combat, we made our way to the ruins. The doors were barred, but Sim was able to enter through a crack in the wall. Sim was met by two goblin guards, but I was able to break the doors down using my bull strength spell.

We were met with another group of goblins that we were able to vanquish, and we have fortified the ruins so that we may rest. There is an entryway to go underground, and that most assuredly is our next move.

Until next time, may the blessings of Ilmater be with you.


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